I Wanted To Write

Dorothy Parker’s Mink Coat

I wanted

  • to write a book that would tear your insides apart with laughter, not heartbreak.
  • to write tiny bites of my life with enough humor to leave my readers with howling belly aches over exaggerated blimps and bleeps.
  • to write the best selling memoir full of wit and wisdom, one that would live on the nightstand of every parent on this earth who might need a quick dose of humor following a particularly harrowing day.
  • to write with a keen sense of humor to keep my readers turning the pages (or swiping their Kindles) to the very last word.
  • to write the takeaways that would lead to joyful resolution for all who read my words.

Meanwhile I have

  • written the necessary 90,000 words of a pitiful and shitty first draft (ala Anne Lamott), just to get over it.
  • highlighted the questionabull, deleted the distractabull, rewritten the sustainabull, and added the conceivabull.
  • hit the muddy middle and squirreled away at least sixty hours of mindless FaceBook gaming in the last thirty days.

The time has come

  • to send away the critics and bring in the clowns.
  • to let go of the past.
  • to write that final chapter.

If nothing else comes of this

  • I can say I wrote a book
  • My inner self will be sufficiently mended.
  • I can be a better person.
  • I still have a sense of humor.

BUT maybe one day I’ll sit at the Algonquin table in Dorothy Parker’s mink coat signing copies of my phenomenal book.

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10 responses to “I Wanted To Write”

  1. Gretchen Staebler says :

    Huzzah! “I wrote a book.” Those are some fine words.

    Like

  2. gwynnrogers says :

    Hey, I’m applauding you for plowing forward to write that “shitty” first draft and not drop the ball like I have. KEEP ON, KEEPING ON!!! You Rock!!!!

    Like

  3. marthagw says :

    You can do it! But it sounds like you already have by healing your own ❤️

    Like

  4. Pat Macsata says :

    Lots and lots going on here. Do you a great sense of humor and if you are able to convey it with true wit in the middle of chaos and pathos, you have created a best seller. In the meantime I took a client to the Alquonquin and the food was terrible.

    Like

  5. Aunt Beulah says :

    How delighted I was to see a new blog, Margie, and what a delightful time I had reading it. I enjoy writers who can make such witty fun of their struggle to use words in a way that pleases them. I am certain when that last chapter is written you’ll have a memoir I will want to read.

    Like

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