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When Writing is a PITA


20170429_165308The journal is blank and the posts have been zilch for a reason this month.Writing literally became a pain in the a$$. It all began in shortly after Christmas as I sat on the edge of the bed and bent over to tie my shoes. Zing. I felt it from L4 all the way down to my toes, but mostly centered left butt. Too much information perhaps but that’s the way it went down. Sitting, standing, walking, driving, sleeping all became a thing of the past. Ice, heat, physical therapy, doctor visits, sitting on a donut, meds – prescription and OTC – nothing worked. Sitting at the computer to write after working at a desk all day was not an option.

Finally it came to an MRI – visual proof that this was not a figment of my imagination. I wasn’t going to wait for some doctor to see it first.  I simply slipped the CD disc into my computer and took a look. After careful comparison to photos at Dr I knew it wouldn’t be long before I’d be sitting in a wheelchair savoring meals on wheels.

Ortho guy studied the CD, watched me limp across the room, tapped here and there, tickled the bottom of my feet and announced “We can fix this slipped disc. All it takes is a needle this long.”  His arms extended to fish tale length.

Was he kidding me? Trying to scare the sh*t out of me?  My stomach churned. “And, if I do nothing?” I asked adding “I hate needles.”

“It will go away eventually. But why suffer?” he asked.

“I’ll take my chances on a quick recovery,” I commented on my way out the door.

The receptionist handed me a prescription for a Lumbar spine epidural” as I passed her desk. “Call if you change your mind.”

Instead I signed up for some yoga classes. Restorative poses and meditation seemed to be making a difference. I quit taking the pain meds and shopped for a grocery cart full of anti-inflammatory food. I ate turmeric until it poured out my pores.

This morning when I couldn’t see the road through the six foot weeds across my front yard, I decided I had no choice but to tackle the mess. Did I mention I am predisposed to hay fever – it happens every year on Mother’s Day. Like clockwork. But this year it arrived early. I pulled a barrel of thistles before the sneezing began. “Listen to your body” my yoga instructor had said. I stood up slowly, listening carefully. Hmmm. Is it possible? Could it be true? That one sneezing frenzy – was it the cure all?

Knocking on the wooden desk as I finish this piece…



Journals – Goals – OM


The 4 pathways in a nutshell:

1. Intention – I intend to write for 20 minutes

2. Action – I am writing for 20 minutes – I have set a timer

3. Non-Identification – what comes up

4. Compassion – Props to finish – result

I’m on day 6 of Daily Om, a 365 day course to clear what is holding me back (finishing my memoir?). I bought this course for $10. There was a choice as to how much I was willing to pay. Since I have not experienced any other courses with Daily Om, I opted for the smallest amount. Maybe that is too cheap for 365 days of trickling in wisdom. Maybe I should have paid more. In the end, I can decide how much this has been worth. In the end if I choose to do so, I can buy another course and offer a bigger payment. Or I could just fess up to what it is worth to me and donate. Or perhaps I could pay for someone else to try this course. That is, if I finish this.

It is suggested that one should keep a journal specific to this course. I have already committed to using InnerGuide 90 day Life Coach In-A-Book to achieve up on my goals. Interesting enough when I look at the layout of the daily pages I see that this journal is much the same concept. Maybe all life coaches do the same routine. I’ve often wondered what exactly a “Life Coach” might be.

In this journal there are three short lines to state Todays INTENTION.

The Daily Planner breaks the day into half hour segments, perfect for showing ACTION.

Daily Check-In seems the appropriate place for NON-IDENTIFICATION. It’s the place where I have nine lines in two columns – the first column to confess if I have accomplished all your goals today and what I might do differently tomorrow – the second column where I look deeper into how this aligns with what I aspire to be.

Self-Assessment for Today is unlined. It’s a place to be kind and gentle, give props to finish the task, and notice how good it feels to finish the task. COMPASSION goes here. Perhaps the unlined section inspires one to draw. So far, I have only written in this section. But I have been using colorful pens to complete these pages – just for fun.

But there is an added bonus with this InnerGuide journal. Little side note places: On My Mind… I Am Grateful for… Weekly Goal Reminder… and Unfinished Items. There is space for only tiny snippets in these boxes. Random thoughts tend to find their place there.

On top of this, there is a Daily Challenge and Staying on Track suggestions. I need those.

There you have it – I wrote for 20 minutes. It wasn’t memoir writing, but it was writing. I can feel good about that.

Musings of an Author

The blog of author Peni Jo Renner

The Revised Writer

Writer, editor, bullet journaler and mom. NaNoWriMo winner, three times. First time YouTuber and blogger. I'm the revised writer and I'm here to share my journey and ideas on all of the above.


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