Testing Windows Microphone

I’ve been listening to a lot of tech podcasts lately. Today I learned that if you click the windows key and the letter h, a little box pops up with instructions to click on an area for text and begin speaking. I fired up google docs and this unedited script happened:

This is a testof the windowsdictationmode. So let’s seehow this

And thenuntil you learn to use thiswill it be truly beneficialI’m still not surespaceI said I’m still not sure spaceand then it typed the wordSpace space space

How do I get this program to make a spaceand not type the word space?Will it automaticallyinclude a space after the end of a sentence?It appears it won’t do that.New sentenceso saying new sentence doesn’t work eitherI could send the program just types new sentence.Nuisancenew sentence instead of new sentencethat’s pretty funny. Oh well this is my first attempt to try to dictate into Google.Maybe it’s exactly what’s expectedwhen you useWindows 10.Perhaps I should upgrade to windows 11.Would that resolve the problem?

So this is my first attempt.It may be my last attempt. Another thingI’m in the middle of a sentenceand all of a suddenI heara small little beep.Guess what happened?Dumb Mike shut down. WellI guess if the mic is going to shut down this isn’t going to be totally hands-free.Now I have to move my little cursorup to the box where it says it’s listeningand once again click on it to begin over.Well I see there are several places that are underlinedwith those red squiggly lines. Basically Google Docs has decided that those are not acceptable wordsso it looks like my next step would be to pick up my mousehighlight every area where that has happenedbackup backup backupohGang that beat againI guess you don’t tell it to back up so that you can correct your errorsbecause then it only writes the wordback upbackupbackupTacooh and by the waythat came through is3backupsas2 1/2 words with a Taco in the middle.

So they say you have to trainwindowsto understand your voice.I don’t thinkI’m muffling my voice.I don’t think I’m stuttering.I don’t think I’m mumbling.Isn’t this interesting that now that I’m suggesting I don’t muffle stutter or mumblethis seems to be working correctly.The syndicatespossibly windows has finally figured outhow I speak.

Another annoying beep.Of courseI was in the middle of my thoughtsand the annoying beepdistracted meenough so that I forget what I was writing about.Obviously I won’t be using this to write my Great American novelor my dysfunctional family memoir.

For My Valentine

I feel the stirring on his side of the bed. I don’t move, Not even an inch. I slightly open one eye and peek at the clock. It’s only 6am. I concentrate even more not to move. I pretend to sleep.
He inches closer. I feel his warmth against my back. Please, not now.
I feel his nose against the back of my neck. Don’t bother me now. I’m tired. The alarm will sound in twenty minutes.
He tickles my ear. I’m not in the mood. Just let me sleep.
Five minutes later he moves closer again. If I move the slightest bit, he’ll know I’m awake. I breathe softly from years of practice. Even breaths. He moves away. I doze.
He snuggles up again. My right arm is numb. My fingers tingle. I try to move my arm ever so slightly out from under my head. He cuddles up. I groan. Let out a big sigh. Lift my head. “Just give me 15 minutes more.” I purposely sound half-asleep. My head hits the pillow with a deliberate thud.
He backs off again. I begin to feel guilty. He wants attention. He deserves attention. But I keep my eyes closed and do not move. I want to be left alone.
He nudges. I open one eye to glance at the clock. Ten minutes. He knows I’m awake. I move slightly away. He gives up. Sleep is impossible now.
The alarm sounds. I jump out of bed. He leaps out of bed and follows me into the bathroom. He watches as I shower, dry my hair, get dressed. His persistent prodding annoys me.
He follows me into the kitchen. I fix his breakfast. He is momentarily pacified. I drink my coffee.
I’m ready now. I reach out for him.
He turns away, casually struts to the back door, and meows as his paws reach for the doorknob.

Originally posted on Themestream long ago in the year 2000