Will This Make Me Smarter?

desk

Here I stand. I’ve never tried standing to write other than a brief tweet or message once in a while on my smartphone. Some people stand all day at their computers. They say it helps their back, burns more calories and makes them think better. I remembered that when I was looking through the latest Costco catalog and came to the article about standing desks. Of course I immediately went on line to see what I could find. But I didn’t need to spend $600 or more for a whole new desk. I have a perfectly fine desk.

So I checked Amazon (sorry if you are one of those people who refuse to shop at Amazon but convenience wins when I need to find out about things, and I get free shipping). First search brought up three pages of desktop standing desks. I ordered this one. It was reasonably priced and the right size for my desk surface.

I came home from work just as the mailman was delivering our mail and waited patiently in the street since his truck blocked my driveway. I knew by the disgruntled, look on his sweat dripping face that he wasn’t exactly pleased having to huff up the steep driveway in 90 degree weather. When I reached the front door I realized why. Hard to believe it but Amazon chose to ship this 56 pound package through USPS. Even harder to believe is that our slightly built mailman was able to heave it up the driveway.

It took two of us to bring it in the house. It took two of us to figure out how to get it out of the package. And two of us to heft it onto the desk. It took me two hours to clear off the desk, re-hook up the computer, glue on the little rubber feet and figure out how to make the innovative simple touch height locking mechanism lift the desk with ease. It would have helped if I had thought to remove the plastic shipping ties hidden under the desktop first.

So, here I am testing this out. It seems ergonomically correct. My arms are at right angles, feet firmly planted, and eyes a good enough distance away for bifocal work. Now about those extra calories we can burn standing – I know someone who says she walks on her treadmill while using a standing desk. Seems like a good way to multitask. Mayve I should check Amazon for one of those. But will it make me smarter? Or just poorer?

When Writing is a PITA

20170429_165308 The journal is blank and the posts have been zilch for a reason this month.Writing literally became a pain in the a$$. It all began in shortly after Christmas as I sat on the edge of the bed and bent over to tie my shoes. Zing. I felt it from L4 all the way down to my toes, but mostly centered left butt. Too much information perhaps but that’s the way it went down. Sitting, standing, walking, driving, sleeping all became a thing of the past. Ice, heat, physical therapy, doctor visits, sitting on a donut, meds – prescription and OTC – nothing worked. Sitting at the computer to write after working at a desk all day was not an option.

Finally it came to an MRI – visual proof that this was not a figment of my imagination. I wasn’t going to wait for some doctor to see it first. I simply slipped the CD disc into my computer and took a look. After careful comparison to photos at Dr Quack.com I knew it wouldn’t be long before I’d be sitting in a wheelchair savoring meals on wheels.

Ortho guy studied the CD, watched me limp across the room, tapped here and there, tickled the bottom of my feet and announced “We can fix this slipped disc. All it takes is a needle this long.” His arms extended to fish tale length.

Was he kidding me? Trying to scare the sh*t out of me? My stomach churned. “And, if I do nothing?” I asked adding “I hate needles.”

“It will go away eventually. But why suffer?” he asked.

“I’ll take my chances on a quick recovery,” I commented on my way out the door.

The receptionist handed me a prescription for a Lumbar spine epidural” as I passed her desk. “Call if you change your mind.”

Instead I signed up for some yoga classes. Restorative poses and meditation seemed to be making a difference. I quit taking the pain meds and shopped for a grocery cart full of anti-inflammatory food. I ate turmeric until it poured out my pores.

This morning when I couldn’t see the road through the six foot weeds across my front yard, I decided I had no choice but to tackle the mess. Did I mention I am predisposed to hay fever – it happens every year on Mother’s Day. Like clockwork. But this year it arrived early. I pulled a barrel of thistles before the sneezing began. “Listen to your body” my yoga instructor had said. I stood up slowly, listening carefully. Hmmm. Is it possible? Could it be true? That one sneezing frenzy – was it the cure all?

Knocking on the wooden desk as I finish this piece…

Journals – Goals – OM

The 4 pathways in a nutshell:

1. Intention – I intend to write for 20 minutes

2. Action – I am writing for 20 minutes – I have set a timer

3. Non-Identification – what comes up

4. Compassion – Props to finish – result

I’m on day 6 of Daily Om, a 365 day course to clear what is holding me back (finishing my memoir?). I bought this course for $10. There was a choice as to how much I was willing to pay. Since I have not experienced any other courses with Daily Om, I opted for the smallest amount. Maybe that is too cheap for 365 days of trickling in wisdom. Maybe I should have paid more. In the end, I can decide how much this has been worth. In the end if I choose to do so, I can buy another course and offer a bigger payment. Or I could just fess up to what it is worth to me and donate. Or perhaps I could pay for someone else to try this course. That is, if I finish this.

It is suggested that one should keep a journal specific to this course. I have already committed to using InnerGuide 90 day Life Coach In-A-Book to achieve up on my goals. Interesting enough when I look at the layout of the daily pages I see that this journal is much the same concept. Maybe all life coaches do the same routine. I’ve often wondered what exactly a “Life Coach” might be.

In this journal there are three short lines to state Todays INTENTION.

The Daily Planner breaks the day into half hour segments, perfect for showing ACTION.

Daily Check-In seems the appropriate place for NON-IDENTIFICATION. It’s the place where I have nine lines in two columns – the first column to confess if I have accomplished all your goals today and what I might do differently tomorrow – the second column where I look deeper into how this aligns with what I aspire to be.

Self-Assessment for Today is unlined. It’s a place to be kind and gentle, give props to finish the task, and notice how good it feels to finish the task. COMPASSION goes here. Perhaps the unlined section inspires one to draw. So far, I have only written in this section. But I have been using colorful pens to complete these pages – just for fun.

But there is an added bonus with this InnerGuide journal. Little side note places: On My Mind… I Am Grateful for… Weekly Goal Reminder… and Unfinished Items. There is space for only tiny snippets in these boxes. Random thoughts tend to find their place there.

On top of this, there is a Daily Challenge and Staying on Track suggestions. I need those.

There you have it – I wrote for 20 minutes. It wasn’t memoir writing, but it was writing. I can feel good about that.

#rethinkchurch God With Us

Advent – Last Day – God With Us

Merry Christmas

The Advent Photo Challenge concludes here. My 29 day break from writing ends and now I reflect on 2016 and set goals for 2017. I don’t make new year’s resolutions as they are usually broken within the first 30 days. Instead, I have brainstormed my goals in a 90 day journal from InnerGuide and am looking forward to see how this works out. Most of my goals are related to writing. Will you join me?

#Nanowrimo 2002

Nanowrimo 2002 – yes you read it correctly. The year was 2002 when I first discovered the challenge. I wrote a novel, “Filigree Bracelet,” never published. What I had to say about Nanowrimo fourteen years ago is just as appropriate today:

NOVEL: an invented prose narrative that is usually long and complex and deals especially with human experience through a usually connected sequence of events.

I signed up for National Novel Writing Month. Do I honestly think that I’ll finish a novel of 50,000 words in 30 days? Well it’s only 1666.67 words per day. I’ve been aiming for 1000 words each day in my daily journal writing. But that is life; the novel will be fiction. A creation of the imagination – can I be that creative?

Write what you know they say. I know about these things from experience: alcoholism, drug addiction, codependence, preachers families, climbing mountains, hiking, backpacking, wilderness, driving across country, exercise, diet, nutrition, some diseases, taking antidepressants, having kids, shopping, internet, taxes, bookkeeping, self help books, genealogy, sewing, knitting, quilting, losing mom, taking care of dad, backaches, depression, therapy, red hats, email, web pages, managing an office, ptss, aa, alanon, naranon, weight watchers, Sunday dinners, short cruises, train trips, flying, job search, relationships, kids, husbands, sisters, brothers, friends, 12 steps, gambling, living with a gambler, owning a Jaguar, cats, living on a hill, having a pool, losing a home, financial burdens, spending money, credit cards, inheritances, church, correspondence courses, junior college, health clubs, aerobic classes, people watching, coffee, overeating, bicycling, running, races, time outs, working 7 days, working the program, not working the program, slogans, teachers, meditation, gurus, sponsors, girlfriends, renting, buying a car, walking, wandering, having tea, camel races, slot machines, crossing bridges, writing letters, fleas, digital pictures, skydiving, roller coasters, river rafting, caves, sleezy motels (Pizmo), elegant hotels, altitude, honeymoons, abuse,

So how does one take all these things one knows about, pull it all together in a semblance of a novel that anyone else might care to read? Or does one just do this for the personal satisfaction of knowing that she has the discipline to sit down and write 1666 words each and every day for 30 days? They say anything you do consistently for three weeks becomes a habit. Do I need to develop another habit? On the positive side, this could be a habit that could someday become a resource for money. Practice makes perfect. But is practice in life enough without the benefit of a firm education?

Muse: perhaps I should develop a relationship with one of the “nine sister Goddesses in Greek mythology residing over song and poetry and the arts and sciences.” I saw a book called “Writing Without a Muse,” and must admit my ignorance of what that means. Is it about Goddesses or is it about “a state of deep thought or dreamy abstraction?” At first I thought it is my lack of education, how could I even consider myself a writer when I don’t even understand the title of that book? Upon further consideration I know that I have no college education, no MFA in writing, just experiences in life that I want to get onto paper. There are many who encourage me to do so and say I am capable. I just need to sit down at the computer and start, muse or not, I can be amusing, I think. Perhaps I should buy the book.
So this is what 540 words looks like. Only 1127 left to go and I would be done for one day. But, what if for one day I just could not possible fit in the time. The following day I would need to write 3334 words. It could snowball until on November 30th, which happens to be a Saturday thank goodness, I would be sitting and writing for all those missed days. Or would I give up at that point? How much time is involved in 50,000 words? 50 hours perhaps? It might be good to track how much time I put into this, just for my own curiosity. It may take longer since this is to be purely fiction and I am more into writing creative nonfiction. Then again, there is no rule that it has to make sense. It can be merely 50,000 words of complete and total nonsense just so long as the product is a “novel”. Which brings me back to, what is a novel anyway? I’ve read plenty of bad novels. I’ve thrown away a few that I spent hard earned money on wondering how anyone had the gumption to publish such pulp.

734 words. I could become obsessed with word counts. How many words are in a page? Well that depends on a lot of factors. Type size, font, margins, paragraphs, spacing. A manuscript must be submitted double spaced or single spaced? I need to find out I guess. Would be good to know. There is some discussion in the Nanowrimo forum about how many pages it takes to write 50,000 words. What a ridiculous thing to ponder about. It’s 50,000 words whether you choose to fill up a notebook or a computer file. Hmmm, wonder how big a computer file is with 50,000 words in it?

839 words and now I am at the bottom of my page. 10 pt arial font, margins .5 top and bottom, 1″ each side. I just changed the margins to 1″ all around. So now this statement is false. I am working my way down the second page. Looks like I would be looking at only two pages a day if I set my margins this way. I could do that.

Now about the time it takes to do this. I have done this, this morning at work. I’ve been here for 1 ½ hours. But I have been interrupted. I’ve had to answer the phones, talk to the boss, do some filing, call because we have no internet connection this morning, write some checks and make the coffee. Considering all the work I had to do, I would guess I have just spent about 45 minutes of my bosses time writing these 992 words. Hey, I could get paid for this? I think that is cheating. Cheating more way than one. I am cheating my boss. Am I cheating Nanowrimo? Right there in the front of the website there is reference to working on these words while at work. I don’t think I’m the only one doing this. Just hope I’m not the one that gets caught. Any spy software on this network? Hello?

1064 words. This is getting to be obsessive. Thank goodness for Word which has that word count feature. I just found out that I can put the “word count” icon on my tool bar. Now that is really cool because now I just click on that one little icon whenever I need to know. Think of how much time that saves me! 1126 words now. Now I figured out how to change the little icon for word count. I changed it to a button, a button with the image of a coffee cup. Then I edited the icon picture and put a number (#) sign on the cup. My secret word count button. How special!

Can I really do this? It will take discipline, “stick-to-it-iveness,” something I have had problems with before. I get an idea, work up a genuine enthusiasm, start off with a bang, gradually run out of interest and come to a screeching halt. Unfinished projects fill a trunk in my apartment already. Unfinished projects abound in my computer hard drive. I need an incentive. Not money. Not fame. Just a reason why I should complete this project. It could be just for the experience of following through, just finishing something I started. Perhaps I need to tell other people what I am doing. Get encouragement and backup. Would they allow me to venture into this project and not be curious as to what I write for this endeavor? I don’t need a critique on my shoulder telling me I am full of self-indulgence that is a complete waste of time. Eric thinks it’s a good idea. But he’ll probably beg to read it. One thing there though at least he is always willing to let me do what I think I need to do. And he realizes that I get into these fantasies and just goes along for the ride. Plus it will give him that extra hour a day (if that is how long this takes and if I work on this in my own time at home) to sit around and play his video poker game.

Speaking of Eric, he is off to Cache Creek today. At least I think he is. He asked me this morning if he could borrow my car and go there. I chastised him. He didn’t sleep well. How can he be safe on the road. In my normal mode, I just kind of ignored the problem, didn’t give him a direct answer but as I walked out the door to go to work I said, “good thing this is the day I don’t come home for lunch that way I won’t know where you are.” Is that permission to use the car, go gambling, and ignore the issue all in one sentence?

1528 words. Near the bottom of page two and less than 150 words to go. Could fit that into one paragraph I’d say. Therefore it would be less than two pages a day to write. Now why couldn’t I possibly keep that commitment? This is seeming more and more likely to be an accomplishment that I can do. So now the question is back to what will my topic be. What will the story line be. I need to start outlining it I think. It must be something that will keep my interest. Something that I can relate to. Something I have knowledge about. Something that will make some sense. Something worth the space on my harddrive. What the heck, that’s what delete keys are for. Just a few more words and I’ll be at that remarkable number that must be accomplished each day – oops I went over – one thousand six hundred eighty three words.